Friday, 6 January 2012

Tequila


It makes me happy. I love the stuff. It's my shot of choice and on any given night out you can pretty much guarantee that you'll find me at the bar ordering a round of slammers for myself and whoever else is in my party.

But apparently not everyone approves.

For my Christmas this year my boyfriend got me a bottle of my favourite drink: Tequila. A bottle of Patron in this instance. And when he mentioned it to someone in passing (someone who shall remain nameless), the person raised their eyebrows with a look that said 'I don't approve'. And the reason? Well I had me a baby a few months ago. And now I am a Mum I am no longer allowed to have fun.

Apparently.

When my boyfriend mentioned the look he had received I was incensed. And upset. Quite irratioanlly so. In fact I made a rather large deal out of something that really didn't matter. The thing is, since I had Ava, I haven't really made a big drama or got myself particularly upset over anything like that. I've realised that I don't care. And that I no longer have time to sweat the small stuff. But this upset me. To the point of tears. And when I questioned myself as to why I was getting so upset, I realised the answer:

I felt this person was questioning my parenting. That I somehow wasn't a good Mummy because I like tequila? And it upset me more than anything has for a long time. And it got me to thinking.....

Just because I have a little girl now, I'm still me. I'm still ridiculously clumsy. I'm still an obsessive foodie. And I still love Tequila.

You can be a good mummy and still go out on the lash now and again (in fact I would advise it for ones own sanity). I still like putting on my false eyelashes and my high heels and hitting the town. And I did a couple of times over the Christmas period. Yes, it was hard. Yes, I missed her like crazy. Yes, I felt incredibly guilty even though I knew she was safely at home in the loving care of her Dad. But surely I am still allowed a good time? This person obviously didn't think so. In an unspoken way I read from that look that they thought I should be at home baking a cake and reading House & Home Magazine. And that's just never going to happen.

I remember when I was pregnant I felt ill every single day. Every single day to the point where (at about 7 months gone) I couldn't actually remember what it felt like to wake up and feel normal. And an irrational fear overcame me that I would never return to my normal energetic self ever again. Of course that didn't happen. As soon as I gave birth the dizzy spells and sick feeling disappeared. Soon to be replaced by chronic exhaustion, but I won't bore you with that. My point is, I went back to being me. I got my body back. I could diet if I wanted to. Have that extra glass of wine if I fancied it and I no longer needed to avoid pate.

Just like the me who liked Tequila before I got pregnant. And who stills likes Tequila now. But the judgemental 'eye-brow raising' of this person has stuck with me for days. Popping into my head every time I spot the (still unopened) bottle of Tequila. A bottle that will be saved for a quick shot with the girls whilst we wait on our taxi into town. And that's on the (very rare) occasion that I get to actually go out. I mean, what did this person think? That I can be found sat at home on a Thursday afternoon, the baby playing with a packet of matches whilst I swig from a bottle of tequila? Don't be ridiculous. That's Saturdays.

But seriously. I love my baby and whilst I probably have the same frets and worries of most first time Mums, I think I am doing a good job. So I will tell you exactly where that pair of raised eyebrows can get to.

Sorry.

I just really needed to get that off my chest.


11 comments:

Gia said...

Next time just look at the person and go "What? I put RUM in the babys bottle to help baby sleep at night. Don't worry, the tequila is only for me."

I like pushing buttons on things like that.

Dawniepopsies said...

Me too. And I like that response :) x

emmysuh said...

The thing is...you don't stop being a woman, you don't stop being Dawn, you don't stop being YOU, just because you have a baby. So yeah, you have a baby but you still love the things you used to love.

Some people just LOVE to judge any and everyone. As long as you and BF and Ava are happy and healthy, who cares what other people think.

But I'll internet-kick-their-asses for making you feel bad.

sophiewearing said...

Good for you! I always think that inevitably a child with have an effect on your life, but people forget that you are still you. So im glad to hear you still trying to retain parts of your previous life where reasonable :-) xxx

Dawniepopsies said...

Exactly Emmy. And we are all happy. Who cares what anyone else thinks. And I appreciate the internet-ass-kicking thing ;-)xx

And Sophie, I'm trying my best :-) xx

Mich said...

How dare they!

If the look was from a man, he's a misogynistic bastard who clearly thinks women should be chained to the kitchen stove.

If it was a woman, well... they're either jealous, or clearly have some woman-hating tendancies as well.

Things change when you have children, but not EVERYTHING for goodness' sake! Oy vey.

Forget about those petty cunts and carry on doing what you're doing :)

x

Dawniepopsies said...

Hahaha you just described the person perfectly Mich! x

Kelly Yuen said...

Honestly people who think you can't have fun just cos you had a kid are idiots...! Having fun, drinking, going out now and again does not make you a bad parent. Gr.

Dawniepopsies said...

Couldn't agree more Kelly! :-) x

Smidge said...

My sister never seems to leave the house without a bottle of wine stashed under the buggy. Way forward I reckon.

Dawniepopsies said...

You sister sounds like my kinda girl x