Detox Schmeetox Part II

Those who follow will know that my Mum just flew back home to Cyprus after a two and a half week visit. During that time, as is tradition, we stuffed ourselves silly for the entire duration of her stay. Since she moved there we take advantage of our 'holidays' together (both in Glasgow and in Larnaca) to indulge in lots of yummy food and wine and generally have a great time. So for over two weeks we ate take-aways, went for long lunches, ate too many cheeseboards and scoffed lots of yummy cakes and posh chocolates.

Somehow (probably down to breastfeeding) I only managed to put on 3lbs. And after a couple of days of behaving (which I started on Monday), I seem to have dropped 2 of those, meaning as it stands, I actually only gained a lb of cake weight. God only knows how.

I'm actually back to the same weight I was when I got preggers, but given I am on such a roll with the whole losing the baby weight thing, I have decided to keep going and try and drop another few pounds. This is probably compounded by the fact that we are off to Cyprus on May 2nd for two weeks. Staying with my Mum, it will be another eating fest full of sickening volumes of halloumi cheese, mezze, ice-cream and vino. So in preparation for that (and because I have to be on the beach in a bikini) I have decided to do another one of my detoxes.

I can hear a collective groan coming from you all. Mainly from my Twitter followers (who know I usually break within about 5 minutes). And my boyfriend (who knows this means he is now on a detox).

I haven't done one of these detoxes in a while (but you can read about my last one here). It should also be noted that my detoxes aren't really what most would class as a detox. I'm not sure what Carol Vorderman would have to say about my Gin habit. They are really just another word for 'diet'. But I hate that word. Mainly because when you refuse someone's offer of a biscuit because you are on a 'diet', you tend to get a hard time from people. If you say you are on a 'detox', they don't really know how to respond and will leave it at that. Another good trick if you don't want cake shoved down your throat by elderly relatives is to say that you are going to/just back from the dentists.

I hope there is no-one reading my blog who is currently considering an eating disorder.

These are not tips.

So we fly 7 weeks from today. The plan is this:

• I'm mostly off wheat, so no bread or pasta, unless it's wheat free
• No chips or roast potatoes, only sweet potatoes or baby boilers for me
• No red meat, fish or chicken only
• No sugar except on a Sunday which will be my treat day. If I don't have a treat day I am likely to throw myself off the balcony
• Only the very occasional glass of wine or beer. Gin & slimline is my drink of choice for the time being

Before anyone sends me some cupcakes with anthrax in them, I am more than aware that at a size ten there is nothing wrong with the way I currently look. I actually really like my curves. But I just want a wee boost to get my abs back for braving the beach. 

So just humour me.

And wish me luck.