Hey Ava! Know what I love?

I love it when you use me as a human climbing frame while I am trying to catch up with Celebrity Big Brother in the morning. Forcing me to spill coffee down my (freshly washed) dressing gown and knocking me in the nose so hard with your new toy that it bruises....

I love how you make it absolutely impossible to eat anything without making me give you a bit....

I love it how you keep putting my Clarins stuff down the toilet......

I love the regularity with which you empty the waste paper basket and distribute its contents all over the house.....

I love it when you sing so loud through the news headlines that I give up trying to find out what the fuck is going on in the world and just go back to reading baby blogs.....

I love it when I go to get my purse at the check-out in Tesco and pull out a week old piece of toast.....

I love it how we now generate two bin bags full of rubbish a day.........

I love finding Duplo in the bed.......

I especially love how you keep turning the knob on the washing machine mid-cycle so my normal colour wash ends up on a boil wash......

I love it how you keep stealing things from the fridge and pouring them over the kitchen floor......

Over Christmas, I really loved the way you constantly undecorated the tree and kindly placed a glittery bauble in my coffee every morning......

I really love it when you constantly steal my vaseline, open it and smear it over the freshly painted walls......

Hey Ava? Know what I love.........?

You!!!