Tuesday, 30 October 2012

Don't tell me how........

If there's one thing I have learned in this past year of being a mummy - it's that a lot of people have a lot of opinions on parenting. And that they like to share them with you. Alot.

Luckily we haven't been cursed with oppressive grandparents. Both my Mum and my partners Mum are brilliant grannies who never try and tell us how we should be raising our daughter but are simply there to help out as much as they can or offer the odd scrap of advice should we need it.

No, its the complete strangers that get my goat.

So without much further ado.........


  • Tell me how to feed my daughter. Don't tell me that I absolutely have to wait until she is 6 months old to wean her. I did it at 4. Maybe I was wrong. Maybe I should have waited. But it was a desperate attempt to get her to sleep better and it's not as if I was feeding her snickers and ordering her Chinese take-aways. 
  • The same applies to those old people who think that breastfeeding in public is tantamount to streaking. Stay out of my way. Because I will fight you.
  • Don't tut or sigh when you see me feed Ava half of my muffin in Starbucks. She's one. She's allowed a bit of cake. And she eats a really healthy and balanced diet the rest of the time so a bit of cake isn't going to kill her. And the same goes when you see me feeding her 'crisps'. Those are actually organic sweetcorn rings. They have nothing bad in them and they taste of NOTHING. So don't look at me like I'm feeding my daughter Quavers just so I can read my Heat magazine in peace.
  • Don't tell me that your 4 month old is already sleeping through the night. Because at 13 months Ava is only just starting to hint that she might consider it. So revealing that you're darling kid started sleeping 12 hours straight from 6 weeks is likely to just make me want to kill you.
  • Don't tell me why Ava is STILL not sleeping through the night. Because although you think you definitely know, you are probably wrong. And we have tried everything. Especially don't tell me to put her to bed later because that will give me a lie in the next morning. Because I miss my 7pm glass of wine, I miss Emmerdale, I don't eat till 9pm and I am still up at 5am the next morning.
  • Talking of sleeping please don't tell me that now she is walking she will sleep through. She's been walking since 10.5 months and I've yet to see it
  • Don't look at me in the breastfeeding group and bang on (and on) about what a fabulous baby Tommy is and how he "never cries and sleeps all night long". Because I can see the bags under your eyes. And I know you're next door neighbour.
  • Oh yeah and don't tell me that your 3 month old is already saying Mummy and pointing. Because I don't believe you.
  • Don't let me continue to spend a small fortune on toys for Ava when all she really wants to play with are remote controls, empty Tupperware and my iPhone.
  • Oh and please don't pretend you haven't noticed the crows feet that weren't there 9 months ago. Because I've got photos and I've checked. And they weren't there 9 months ago.

Got it?



daisychain said...

I'm not a parent but I love this post! x

Dawn Young said...

:) xxx