Tuesday, 31 December 2013

So 2014, bring it on.

Christmas 2013 was a bit of an anti-climax over at our place. In retrospect I had put too much hope and planning into it. I spent a fortune, planned everything in meticulous detail and was excited to the point of ridiculousness. It was never going to end well.

A soap style bombshell on Christmas Eve left it a bit of an emotional affair. I mean we seriously made the festive episode of Eastenders look like an episode of the Brady Bunch. Having put so much into it, the emotional fall out for me personally was pretty huge. I spent most of the day trying to hold back tears and drinking heavily (but then that's probably just a normal Christmas for most) ;)

But what was a lonely and emotional affair for moi, was hopefully quite the opposite for Ava who took great relish in opening her presents and her face in the morning when she realised that Santa had been?


I reckon she was oblivious and I mean come on, any 2 year old who gets to spend the whole day eating Pringles and Jelly Babies is gonna be ecstatic. 

Am I right?

 I could write some carbon copy heard it all before bull here about all my hopes, aspirations and dreams (as well as resolutions) for 2014 but......

Been there, done that, meh.

So I'm just gonna say this:

Last night I lay in bed selfishly and self-indulgently wishing for a whole year (one entire year) of nothing bad happening. No future business dreams going down the pan, no being let down by someone significant you had trusted, no worry about where you do/will live, no genuine hopes for a fresh start being snatched away right when you started to believe they might actually happen. 

Then I realised this:

Life is what it is. No one gets a whole year of unadulterated happiness. And if they do they probably make up for it later. I get to wake up every morning and hear Ava's amazing giggles as I tickle her till she squeals at me to get up, I get to have my very own private rendition of all the major nursery rhymes as I bathe and I get all the kisses and cuddles I could ever ask for. I'm the luckiest person in the world and I would do well to remember that.

Sometimes I just stand in Ava's bedroom when she's not here and just look around me. At the Hello Kitty growth wall chart, the unmade Peppa Pig bed and crazy amount of toys that leave us with very limited floor space. This is the bedroom of a little girl who is loved. Who is deeply cared for and who has security.

And that's all I want. 

So 2014, you can bring it on.

Cause we're ready for ya.


Unknown said...

Love this post! Happy New Year you two, 2014 is going to be a good'un, I can feel it! xx

Kirsty said...

So lovely, hope it's everything you both wish for! X

Anonymous said...

This is very sweet. I hope you at least have a year where the good far outweighs the bad. Happy new year :) xx

SamTheFoodFan said...

Beautiful post! Wish you and Ava a very happy 2014! May it be filled with lots of love, laughter and happy memories!

Sam x

ananyah said...

Happy New Year!

I honestly wish you and Ava nothing but happinesss, laughter, and cocktails (Mocktail for Ava naturally!)

See you soon for some Cocktails xoxo