Monday, 13 January 2014

Reasons I'm a rubbish girl

A while ago I did a piece on The Scottish Hair & Beauty Awards for Alison Jameson PR Consultants and I touched upon some of the reasons that I am a really rubbish girl. Which is weird. Because I am also an incredibly girly girl. I don't like sport, I love getting dressed up and my perfect evening involves a face mask, a bubble bath & some candles. However, in some respects I let the side down. Big time.

I absolutely hate chick flicks. Things like 27 Dresses or anything with Drew Barrymore in it makes me want to vomit and I can think of nothing worse than wasting 2 hours of my life watching a ridiculously hot American girl say stupid things and still eventually get the guy. Happy endings don't do it for me. It should be noted though that Dirty Dancing doesn't count.

I wear the same pair of black high heels every single time I go out. And when they are no longer fit for purpose I will find a new pair of black high heels and wear them on every single night out instead. That's not to say I don't have a cupboard full of pretty and ridiculously high shoes that I can't walk in. I just never wear them because no matter how much I like to get glammed up, comfort always wins in the end (which is why I have spent so much of this winter in fake Ugg boots). 

I don't wear jewellery. Ever. Despite this being completely evident to everyone who has ever met me, I still have managed to build up a collection of pretty necklaces over the years. They are lovely but all they do is collect dust in my bedroom. I'm not sure if I don't wear jewellery as I am just forgetful and thus never remember to put it on once I am ready to leave or if it's because every time I do wear it, I end up leaving it in a bathroom and never see it again.

I don't follow fashion. In fact, I don't have a clue about fashion. I pretty much live in the same clothes and have done for about 10 years. Skinny jeans, floaty jumpers, leggings, thick black tights and day dresses in the winter and day dresses sans tights in the summer. A blazer and my trusty black high heels if I am lucky enough to be getting a night out. I buy things I like the look of that are totally 'me' and I am terrified of straying off my tried and trusted 'uniform' for fear of looking like a total knob end.

I drive like a rally driver. Albeit a more sensible one who sticks to speed limits since I had the kid.

I can eat (and drink) a lot of men under the table. And do. Regularly.

I shop like I'm on a covert military operation. I know what I'm going for. I get in there. I set my sights on the target. I buy. I leave. And I don't PISS ABOUT humming & hawing only to return to the same shop 4 hours later. This is why I never do shopping trips with my friends.

I don't go to the hairdressers enough. I need to have low maintenance hair because I really can't be bothered wasting 30 minutes a day on styling only to get rained on. My hair is either wavy and down, straight and down or back in a high ponytail. These 3 styles just depend purely on how much Ava is driving me crazy on that particular day.

I don't get pre-menstrual. My mood hardly changes from one week of the month to the next and if I'm ratty, it's just cause I'm ratty and it's never really correlated to my period. Don't get me wrong, I milk it. I might occasionally use the old 'time of the month' argument to get my bath run for me or to get tore into a boyfriend for the fact that the bathroom STILL hasn't been painted. But I prefer to see that more as being an opportunist rather than a PMT crazy bitch.

I love beer. I will quite happily sit and drink a pint and couldn't give a toss how unladylike I look. You will always find me with a Kingfisher and the hottest dish on the menu at the local curry house while my female counterparts nibble on a korma and sip on a white wine. 


 I can't throw a ball to save my life. I'm addicted to scented candles. I cry ridiculously easily. Football is boring. I always want to lose 3lbs. I'm a sucker for an inspirational quote on canvas. I watch way too much reality television. I like doors being held open for me. And there are times when I would happily take a glass of Pinot and a bar of galaxy over a shag any day of the week.

Who am I kidding?

I'm a total bloody girl.

1 comment:

P said...

Totally with you on the shoe thing. But not the chick-flicks...