CURRENT: RECIPES

If I had to choose my favourite channel of social media then it would be Instagram. Gone are the days of my worrying Twitter addiction (I have to force myself to tweet these days), and I fell out of love with Facebook a while ago. Still reckon that thing is a cult. Why can't I just leeeeeave?

Anyway. Being a bit of a 'foodie' and what even is that word? I have massively fallen out of love with that word as well. It's so bloody pretentious and over-used and mis-used and bleurgh. Anyway I am forever posting pictures of my latest recipe ventures on my beloved Instagram. And I regularly get asked for the recipes. Usually I just ask for the persons email and then forward them the link or take a photo of the recipe and email it to them. This gave me an idea for a new blog post though, a recipe post of all the good Instagram photos that got you guys a bit excited recently.

All my recipes tragically serve one. 

If you are smug you can double up for two.

Hot steak schwarma with blue cheese dressing

Steak is kind one of those things that I never really cook but if I do it's always on a Saturday night and it's always accompanied by a glass of fizz. Because once you start having babies the chances of getting yourself out on a Saturday night become a lot slimmer. Which is ironic because your waistline definitely doesn't get slimmer. But as a parent you need something to differentiate between a celebratory Saturday and a mundane boring old Monday right? So make it steak. Saturday steak. I found this recipe for Hot Steak Schwarma with Blue Cheese Dressing on the side of a tub of Greek yogurt. I might have also accompanied it with enough sweet potato wedges to feed six cage fighters. Which I insist you do too.

Sriracha Pork Ramen

I love ramen because I am such a chilli fiend and adore all types of Asian cuisine. You can pimp up your ramen in so many different ways. You can use fish stock instead of chicken and you can experiment with lots of different types of toppings from pickled ginger to sesame seeds. This is a pretty basic recipe but if you've never cooked ramen before then it's a brilliant one to start with.

Handful of spring onions, handful of torn coriander leaves & chopped coriander stalks, garlic, ginger, one boiled egg, chicken stock, noodles of your choice (I used soba), pork shoulder steak, Srircha sauce, one sachet of miso paste, canned sweetcorn

1. Just slice up the pork then marinade in the srircha for as long as you can. If you are organised then that is 24 hours. If you are anything like me then that's an hour tops.
2.  Cook the noodles according to the pack instructions then rinse in cold water and set to the side. 
3. Stir fry the pork until it starts to caramelise then set aside. 
4. Boil the kettle, make the stock, add the miso paste, stir. 
5. Fry the garlic, ginger and coriander stalks in the pan you used for the pork for 2-3 minutes then add the stock and bring to the boil, scraping up all the burnt caramel goodness from the bottom of the pan. Add the sweetcorn.
6. Put noodles in a bowl then pour the broth on top. Top with the pork, spring onions, coriander leaves & boiled egg.

Hugh FW's Chicken & Lentil Bake

The recipe for this River Cottage Chicken & Lentil Bake pretty much screams autumn and because you can just shove it all in a dish and stick it in the oven for an hour it allows you to bath the kid. Or sort out the washing. Or pretend to be helping with a jigsaw while secretly watching The Only Way is Essex which you managed to stick on in the background without her noticing. Serve with a green salad. And a portion of guilt that you don't interact with your child enough.

The Best Fish Pie Recipe Ever

It pains me to have to write this out because actually making it is as time-consuming as typing it. But it's worth it. I promise. This serves two because I'm not always totally tragic.

1 salmon fillet, 6-8 peeled tiger prawns, 1 haddock fillet. 1 smoked cod fillet, 180gm chopped leek, 450gm Maris Piper potatoes, 20gm cheddar cheese, 2 tbsp chopped flat leaf parsley, 6 tbsp double cream, 1 fish stock cube, 1/2 cup panko breadcrumbs, 35gm butter, 25gm plain flour

1. Boil a large pot of water for the stock and the potatoes. Peel potatoes and chop into gold ball sized chunks. Trim the leeks and chop into 1cm pieces. Finely dice the parsley and grate the cheese.
2. Remove 250ml of the boiling water and dissolve in half the stock cube. Cook the potatoes in the remaining water with a pinch of salt until they are tender then drain.
3. Stir-fry the leeks in 1 tbsp olive oil some salt and pepper for 5 minutes on a medium heat. Set aside.
4. Put the stock into a pan on a low hear and add the seafood. Simmer for 5 minutes then remove the fish and add to the leeks. Don't throw away the stock!
5. Melt half the butter and add the flour. Stir for a couple of minutes then gradually stir in the stock. Keep on a low heat and keep stirring until smooth. Simmer until nice and thick.
6. Put the potatoes back on the heat and add a few tablespoons of cream, the rest of the butter and some salt. Mash until smooth.
7. Add the seafood, leeks and parsley to the sauce along with 3 tablespoons of cream. Season. Stick the grill onto high.
8. Pour the seafood mix into a dish and top with the mash. Sprinkle over the cheese and breadcrumbs then grill until golden.
9. If you've come this far and you burn it then you don't deserve it.

Jamie O's Mexican Soup 

Don't panic - I'm not trying to tell you to have soup for dinner. To me having soup for dinner is like taking fruit to the cinema. However this Mexican Soup with Nachos, Feta & Sweet Potato Fries is not like any ordinary soup. I mean it's got actual fries through. And cheese. And nachos for gods sake. This is wonderful.

Middle Eastern Rice with Halloumi

This is one of the only vegetarian recipes I have ever cooked that I didn't feel the need to put bacon in. Proud.

For the rice: vegetable oil, onion, 50gm brown rice, knob of butter, 1/4 tsp ground cinnamon, 1/4 tsp ground cumin, 1/4 tsp ground coriander, 1/3 can lentils (rinsed & drained), squeeze of lemon juice & a bit of grated rind, handful of chopped coriander, same amount of flat leaf parsley, same amount of mint, halloumi

For the tomato sauce: vegetable oil, garlic, 1/2 tsp fennel seeds, 1/2 can chopped tomatoes, pinch chilli flakes, drizzle of honey

1. Heat oil in frying pan, add onion and season. Stir on a low heat until they start to caramelise. 
2. Cook the rice according to the pack instructions then drain and set aside.
3. For the sauce, heat the oil and fry the garlic and fennel for 1 minute. Add the tomato, chilli and honey and simmer until thick. Season.
4. Once onions are golden add the butter and the spices to them. Fry for a couple of minutes. Add the rice and lentils, stir until warm then season. Cool slightly then toss through the lemon juice and zest along with the chopped herbs. Transfer to a plate and top with the tomato sauce and some fried or grilled halloumi.

All these recipes are ace or I wouldn't be bothering to share them. If you do make any then share too! You can find links to my Twitter, Instagram and Facebook pages on the right hand side of the blog!