Friday 23 October 2015

Everyone trips, everyone falls

There are lots of things I beat myself up about. Like the fact Ava eats too much sugar. Or the fact I still haven't given blood since I had her. I beat myself up because I don't phone my Mum enough. That I am doing this parenting thing all wrong. That I don't save enough. That I haven't flossed since 2007.

There's the little things we beat ourselves up about day to day. The things we know we should do better but don't. The promises we make to ourselves. Then tomorrow comes and you find yourself spending money you don't have on Amazon whilst your child does laps of the living-room 3 hours after their bedtime and your phone beeps with the third message from your Mum asking you why you still haven't replied to her. 

Then there's the big stuff. The big mistakes. Not everyone's mistakes are the same. Some are bigger than others. Some are worse than others. I've made mistakes in my life that at the time felt like the end of the world. Looking back now I can see that they weren't. And that they taught me something later on. Although it didn't feel like it at the time. I have watched others make mistakes too. It's difficult sometimes to stay kind and non-judgemental when you see others fall. But it's imperative that you do if you wish to stay a healthy and considerate person. 

The point is that the people watching or the people involved in the mistakes are not the eyes through which you should see your own life. Be sorry. Be humble. Act with grace. But remember who you are. Trust yourself. Trust your decisions.  Be courageous when you are under pressure. Be quiet when something doesn't require comment. Don't give way to lies. Believe in yourself. Let go of what is hurting your heart. Have patience.

In short?

Don't be so fucking hard on yourself.