Tuesday, 26 April 2016


The picture you see above is one I uploaded a couple of days ago and it encapsulates a really happy moment for me. Ava had been away on holiday with her Dad & I hadn't seen her in an entire week. When we took the photo we were messing around on my bed and I was deliriously happy to have her home because I had been missing her so much. 

But here's the thing - I almost didn't post it.

The reason? Pure and utter vanity. In the photo I look tired and you can tell that I had been crying. Not a particularly big deal. I was tired. And I had shed a few tears that day. But I almost stopped myself from posting the photo thanks to sheer, vulgar vanity. Thankfully I decided that I was being ridiculous, to get over myself and I posted it anyway. But it got me to thinking (again). What is it about someone that makes them pretty? What makes them alluring? Or attractive? Is it really aesthetics? Or is it something else? Something deeper? Is it actually confidence?

Growing up there were a number of women I admired. As a young girl finding herself in the world I used to watch these women with fascination. And they were never the women in the short skirts or with the false eyelashes. They were the ones who carried themselves with an air of sophistication that looked so natural it was as if they had been born that way. The women who could be wearing no make-up and casually wrap their hair up in a bun using a pen yet still look so immaculately elegant. The women who couldn't walk from one side of a room to the other without gaining glances from both sexes. The women who did this without even noticing. These women all had one thing in common. One alluring factor that meant that no matter how tired they looked, or how big their eye bags they still struck a chord or a backwards glance from even the most unobservant of passers by. They all had confidence.

I'm not saying I have spent my life trying to emulate these women. I believe confidence like that comes from within and often looks contrived if it isn't organic and natural. But I've always remembered these women. I'm not a fan of too much cleavage or too short skirts. I don't take toilet selfies with duck faced pouts painted on with silly amounts of lip liner. Please don't get me wrong. I'm not taking anything away from the girls who do paste their social media with these kinds of photos. Each to their own. I hate sexism, I don't diss on other women and half of the girls who do have profile pictures like that are probably a lot cleverer than I am.

But are they lacking confidence? Is that why they feel the need? I fully admit to using social media as a pick me up. If I want to a make myself feel prettier after a break up or showcase the fact I have lost a few pounds then I am the first person to slap something flattering on Instagram. And I am not shy about using a decent filter or the mirror that makes me look the skinniest. But likewise I'm not scared to post the bad stuff either. That photo up there was an extremely happy moment in an otherwise shitty day. I was happy to post it because I didn't care if everyone saw the tired eyes, the raw emotion or the face that feels like it's aged about 20 years over the past 8 weeks.

And you know why?


Because that's all any girl really needs.

Well that and a decent filter.

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