Saturday 17 July 2010

Why Facebook & alcohol should never be mixed....


So I am going to tell you an embarrassing story.....

When I moved to Glasgow I joined a gym. Quite a posh gym in fact. Frequented by many a Scottish soap star & football player. I loved it. The personal trainers were fit and the sauna was lovely. One of the personal trainers was really fit in fact. And I started to get the impression he was giving me the eye. He would pull me aside to tell me I was doing my obliques wrong or occassionally glance in my direction when I was walking past. Such flirtatious behaviour continued for a couple of months. Sometimes I thought 'He bloody well fancies me' and other times, (when I caught sight of the latest skinny gorgeous WAG he was mid-sesh with), I thought 'Mmmm maybe not....'.

Anyway it never came to anything more than a couple of shy smiles. And then the worst thing happened.

I got drunk.

I got drunk and I went on Facebook. I found his page (come on girls we all know Cyber-stalking is easy these days) and I friended him.

I went to bed amused at my cunning yet endearing attempt at a first move.

I woke up mortified. Frantically I went on Facebook to see if it had been accepted. It hadn't. And worst of all my friend request seemed to have disappeared. With a sinking feeling in my stomach I tried to deduce why this was. Either one of two things had happened:

1) I hadn't actually friended him. I was pretty drunk and technology and me get blurry after too many wines.

OR

2) The mortifying bit. He had seen it and declined me.

I appeased my worries by convincing myself that there was no way he could have declined such a lovely offer in the space of only a few hours? During the night? Surely not. 'It's fine', I thought. Until my friend kindly pointed out the next day, "He probably gets his friend requests emailed to him. Everyone has an I-phone or Blackberry these days Dawn". Great, I thought. He declined me. The bastard declined me. And me, just trying to be friendly.....

So I did what any other mature, sensible, laid-back girl would do. I quit my gym. A MASSIVE over-reaction you are probably thinking. But I couldn't face the thought of seeing him. Of him looking over thinking "There's that idiot that tried to pull me on Facebook". The shame, the embarrassment, the utter mortification!!!!

And so I haven't been back in that gym since. Am I idiot? Does such dramatic actions make me vain and conceited? Or severely self-conscious? You decide.

I know one thing for sure. From now on, when the vodka comes out. The Facebook goes off.


P.S. For those who care theres a detox update coming your way very soon.......

1 comment:

P said...

Argh! This is the sort of thing I would do. I HAVE done it, in fact. One time, I didn't think the friend request had worked the first time, so I tried again. And this time it DEFINITELY got rejected.

I am VERY bad for drunkenly requesting people as friends and then not remembering until they accept. Then I think "what the fuck."