2015

At precisely three minutes past midnight on the 1st of January 2015 I made a promise to myself. The promise was that at precisely three minutes past midnight on the 1st of January 2016 I would not be sitting where I was at that moment in time. I made it. But by the skin of my teeth. As the bells chimed midnight this year, I sat watching the fireworks from my living-room window with a cold glass of champagne in my hand and a sleeping 4 year old snuggled into my knee. I achieved what I had set out to do. Not a massive deal or accomplishment for some. But a landmark for me.

2015 was a funny old year for me. In January I explored my thoughts on feminism, or rather the thoughts I all too often keep to myself. Now Ava is getting to an age where she is conversing her own thoughts much more freely, I think that 2016 will be the year I find my own voice on the subject. February saw me really start to talk about my love affair with Scotland. This affiliation to my beautiful heritage shows no signs of abating. In March I talked about the way a three year old broke my heart and learnt a valuable lesson about bringing up a little girl in today's society. April saw me hit 6 months of being back at work full time. This saw me learn to juggle. My love affair with all things Scottish culminated in this post about my constant need to go on road trips. In July I talked about how we need to stop comparing ourselves to everyone else on the internet. Given that I now work in social media, I see even more clearly how it can encapsulate you and swallow you whole. This is probably why I stick to my 'no phones in the bedroom' &  'no boyfriends with a Facebook' rule so well. August saw me discussing something that has spun from a mild interest into a full blown belief. As Roald Dahl once said "Those who don't believe in magic will never find it". I delved into one of the reasons why I am so inclined to push a positive mental attitude back in September. About what a happier person I had become and how I intended to keep it that way. October brought about one of the nicest holidays I have had in a while & Marbella will always have a special place in my heart. In November I found myself moving into a new job in a different industry. I am loving this change and like the old adage goes, I really didn't realise the weight until it had been lifted. Finally in December I discussed my insecurities over being a single parent. Those insecurities may not have gone away, but the pair of us have come on leaps and bounds since I wrote that.

I have many plans for 2016. You've heard them all before. Each one a perfect cliche. Drink less wine, start writing the book, spend less money eating out and get stuck into the ridiculous amount of unread novels that I seem to be stockpiling in the bedroom. Engage more when I interact with Ava instead of having one eye on the telly when we play a game or clock watching till bedtime when she's acting up. Write every day. I'm learning a ton about social media in my new job and I want to utilise it in a way that allows me to spend less time on my phone - not more. The desire to be settled & for more babies never goes away.  But I intend to keep the part of me that refuses to settle for anything other than absolute authenticity.

So 2015...

You really weren't a bad year.

For some reason though, I can't help but think that 2016 is going to be better.